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About Me:

Hi there! My name’s Emily. I have red hair and I really enjoy talking. A LOT. I like to sing and read and sew and write and draw and one day I’m going to be famous. Or a princess. Either one’s okay with me. I’m a junior at Indiana University and I live with my mother and three cats. I have total determination in what I want to major in but not a dang clue what I want to do with my life. Besides being famous or a princess, that is.

Oh. And I’m not quite this chipper in everyday life unless you hype me up on sugar and caffeine… Which is, incidentally, what I usually do before I write P.O.R.N. So. Like. Don’t judge me. Or I’ll have to beat you up with my mad (and non-existent) ninja-like zombie-fighting skills.

About P.O.R.N.:

So. My confession is that I named my blog P.O.R.N. because I loved the places I could go with it. I mean, can’t you just imagine bumper stickers with a cute little girl in a purple dress who says, “I read P.O.R.N., don’t you?”

Teehee… it makes me giggle…

P.O.R.N. really started as my need for a creative outlet. I love writing and drawing, but since I got to college, the creativity has been sucked out of me. I can’t fit art classes into my schedule and my writing is only nonfiction these days. And then quickly the blog (prepare for a sappy moment y’all) took on a deep life-meaning for me. No matter how much shit life could throw at me, I could get back on my feet, dust myself off, and laugh. The stuff that seemed awful then makes a great story now, and rather than spreading the negativity, it’s spreading humor and happiness.

If everyone would turn their negatives into positives… just think of what the world would be like! Fucked up. Come on. I’m not THAT sappy, you guys.

So that’s P.O.R.N. It’s me picking out the humor from a massive pile of life-shit, and in cartoon form, no less!

Regarding the particulars, everything here is made by me on Cujo (my laptop), so please please please don’t steal anything without also promoting P.O.R.N. (or me!) shamelessly. It would make me cry. A LOT. And then serve you a big old juicy lawsuit.

In case you were wondering, I use Microsoft Paint to draw with. I keep debating getting a different program but I just love paint too much. AKA I’d have to learn how to use it and I’m lazy. I mean… I’ve been using MSPaint for like… forevs.

Lastly, if your blog is awesome and I find out about it and I’m feeling generous and you buy me a pretty rock or a pretty horse or just call me pretty, there’s a large chance you could find yourself the owner of a P.O.R.N. Star Award!

18 Comments leave one →
  1. March 5, 2011 9:33 pm

    Cool site, maybe someday you can illustrate my kids book, then we can both be famous and support our habits!!

    It’s not really a kids books and I didn’t plan on it being a kids book, just wrote a poem, but everyone said I should get it published. I don’t have any idea how to go about that but anyhow… cool site, love the drawings!!

    • March 5, 2011 9:38 pm

      PLAN! So, we’ll get started seven minutes ago, get it published tonight, and be bathing in piles of money by tomorrow morning. Wow! Glad we met πŸ˜‰

  2. lifewith4cats permalink
    March 27, 2011 6:12 pm

    I just emailed ya, keep an eye out for it.

    • March 27, 2011 8:02 pm

      Loved it!!! (Btw, I was so incredibly excited to get my first email!!!) And I replied πŸ™‚

  3. March 28, 2011 3:19 pm

    Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I gave you an award !
    Your blog is awesome!

  4. bleeblu permalink
    April 18, 2011 3:55 am

    Haha I love your illustrations. What do you use?

    • April 18, 2011 9:44 am

      Haha, it says up there. I use Microsoft Paint for all my artwork on here. I tried Photoshop and hated it, I thought about getting a tablet so my hand wouldn’t die on my laptop but they’re too expensive, and I downloaded the new version of MS Paint but I didn’t feel like having to learn it all over again. So! I use plain old fashioned Microsoft Paint. It rocks πŸ™‚

  5. May 13, 2011 5:07 pm

    Whey, just added you to my blogroll. Don’t know why I haven’t done that earlier.

  6. May 16, 2011 2:24 pm

    Emily, this is fabulously fantastic! I love that you found my blog because now I get to enjoy yours. Consider me a huge fan!

  7. July 27, 2011 10:02 pm

    Wow, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment, or I’d have never found YOUR blog! It’s awesome! Your drawings are so cute… and the post about your childhood dream of becoming Hermoine made my day. I have yet to see the llamaraptors, though, so you’ll have to point them out to me!

    So…. in the “about P.O.R.N.” section, you told us absolutely nothing about what P.O.R.N. is. What is it? Anything I should be concerned about before I click over and find out? πŸ˜›

    • July 27, 2011 11:56 pm

      Lol, thanks! The llamaraptors happen mostly in my first posts, but it’s also what attacks the Harry-Potter-stealing-book-thief in the Off Color cartoon on the home page… and the scary beast on my top banner. As for the “About P.O.R.N.” link – I have no idea what you’re talking about! Haha, sorry. But no matter what, I promise it won’t be something bad. The closest this blog has ever come to real porn was the post “Porn.” that talked about my hatred of said subject. I know, I’m all contradictions πŸ˜‰ All in all though, I’m super glad we found each other’s blogs today!

      • August 3, 2011 6:13 am

        Okay. I am NOT a particularly receptive person. I just realized your blog is called Paroxysm of Outrageous Random News……. …… ….. or P.O.R.N. for short. The section I was referring to was in this post, right below the “about me” section.

        And here I was, concerned you were some well-meaning pervert or something that thought capitalizing the letters and putting periods between them would make the word any less vulgar when you talked about your favorite subject (because the abbreviation is everywhere). Sorry, LOL.

        *fail FTW*

  8. August 24, 2011 4:38 pm

    I love the name of your blog. Now I can say I subscribe to P.O.R.N. Not sure who I’d say it to, but at least I can giggle silently in my head.

    Good luck keeping up your writing and art in college. My own writing didn’t really get off the ground until after I graduated. I hope you have better time management skills than I did!

  9. August 24, 2011 6:24 pm

    Your nun link is showing a 404 error.

  10. September 6, 2011 12:13 pm

    Hi Emily, i have just added you to my blogroll i forgot about you, sorry. I have another in it from India.

  11. September 23, 2011 12:15 am

    Hey Emily. I gave you TWO prestigious blogging awards! Woo-hoo. Yeah, don’t feel obligated to pass them on to 15 bloggers. That is a crazy number of blogs to link up to! Hope all is going well with school. Look forward to hearing from you again.

  12. September 26, 2011 11:36 am

    Emily, I know you’ve gotten more awards than you can handle without blushing, but I too have to share you with my little corner of the world.

    Details are in my post at

    Following the award guidelines, the post includes the other nominees that I feel are a must read and a little bit about their blogs. At the end of the post are the instructions for picking up your award and a graphic suitable for framing, if you have a teeny tiny frame.

    I’ve also updated my blogroll with your blog.

    Note this VBA comes with something no other one comes with: As an extra bonus, there’s a picture of me in the post when I was a Catholic Altar Boy. (Rated G: in case you were worried for a moment.) It’s a convenient wallet sized photo ready to print and carry as a constant reminder of how life can go oh so horribly wrong.

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